Mood: Peaceful and Strong
Title Taken from the Song: Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
Last week, you attempted to find closure
You tried to say goodbye and sorry...for the last time
or...
...to reconcile the differences, be good friends (casual), and forget about the sordid past
in my heart, i found your sorry attempts pathetic.
For one, you were in a hurry to go
and it looked like somebody just forced you
or paid you to apologize
Secondly, you don't even know what you did
you do not know why you were apologizing
you even asked me what made me so angry all those times
and the most important factor is I didn't feel like I wanted to talk
i just accepted your apology to get it over with
and that was a weird feeling
because it means that the past doesn't affect me as much anymore
maybe in the deep recesses of my heart, I still hurt
but my mind has now filtered my memories
and memories associated with you are now considered trivial
and I didn't really feel like being friends
the truth is, i wasn't surprised you tried reaching out to me
I was more surprised by my reaction
or non-reaction
deep inside i hurt
but i was so used to your games
and i just shook it off
you may think we're okay
but the truth is, you'll never be over me
But i will move on
because of my infinite heart
and clear emotions
i know what made my heart beat
i know that i want you and you alone
i know that despite all these caring I feel for you,
we're better off as friends
and that to end it right, we need to exhaust time
and make this short time we have together a valuable time
or else you'll always end up wondering
wishing for me
missing me
longing for me
in a crazy obsessive manner.
while I will move on and just miss you and hope you're okay
I will feel fulfilled and complete with the memories I have of you.
thank you for being such an ass sometimes
because of your emotional baggage
your fear that if you even try to say Hi to me it will ruin your emotions
while you are nice to others and you let them bother you
you can not afford to have me around
because it hurts you too much
i hope you rot with your pain
and remember that someday, you'll regret everything
you did not do or say
when we parted, i felt like you wanted to stay
but you couldn't, and I knew that
I appreciate your efforts.
I saw the push and pull your heart is doing
In the end, I just made a decision to let you go even when you wanted to say a bit longer
I didn't want to walk with you in the rain
because that was the same day last year we walked in the rain
and I didn't want to add more to my memories
I saw your sad eyes and I looked away
in the hour we talked, I didn't look at you that much
I knew that if I look at you my heart will start melting and I can't afford that to happen
I walked away, and didn't look back to check if you actually looked at my back like how you used to
I'm letting you go and it means you have to walk away
and it means I can not check if you walked back towards me
and it means i shall not dwell on the fact that it was so easy for us to forgive and make up
and be friends and talk like there's so much we want to share with one another
you'll always have unfinished business with your heart
and you'll never find the closure you wanted.
because the fact that you tried to even say sorry to me
the fact that you tried to have closure
means you could not just go on and move on completely without thoughts of me passing through your head
when in our situation, we can not be in each other's world.
so why can't you just let me go?
i've always asked you to just leave me alone. completely.
and let me go. completely.
don't bother talking to me again
pretend i don't exist. completely.
but you just couldn't.
