Playlist: Are you Happy Now?

Date: August 21, 2011
Playlist Purpose: I wonder what you are thinking of, when you saw me and my friend said you tried to hide by looking down. You look pathetic and you look funny.

Prussian Blue by Popsicle
Kiss from a Rose by Seal
Brick by Ben Folds Five
Wonderwall by Ryan Adams
What I Got by Sublime
Her Most Beautiful Smile by Taro Iwashiro
Nightingale by Norah Jones
Get Here by Oletta Adams
Hey Stephen by Taylor Swift
The Bird and the Worm by The Used
Save Yourself by Stabbing Westward
Crazy for You by Madonna
Driving with the Breaks On by Del Amitri
Hemorrhage by Fuel
Insensitive by Jann Arden
Gone by Matt Nathanson
Someone Like You by Adele
Fact-Fiction by Mads Langer
Over You by Daughtry
When I'm Thinking About You by The Sundays
IF by Janet Jackson
Look After You by The Fray
Lightning Crashes by Live
Pyro by Kings of Leon
Walking After You by Foo Fighters
Breathe by Faith Hill

Day 233: Does It Seem I'm Looking for an Answer to a Question I Can't Ask?

Mood: Peaceful and Happy, somewhat
Title Taken from the Song: Nightingale by Norah Jones


Last week you said something terrible
A really slight remark that hits the mark
If your aim was to hurt me,
then I should hand you an MVP award
for being the most successful person to wrack my brains
and dismantle my heart with pain


Pretending I don't exist is good
I've been doing the same for the past months
But you didn't need to pretend to other people
and deny that you actually knew who I am
Are you happy now?


A friend got mad at me for still mooning over you
and I want you to know that I am okay now
I saw you the other day
and I didn't feel the need to confront you
In the back of my mind, I thought it was a waste of time
This is good... I'm slowly on the road to indifference


My hatred towards you is slowly becoming a disgust
and an observation of the things that make you a loser
a jerk
an ass
a douche-bag
all the things I've heard about you
from other people are summing up
and making me want to believe all the bad things they say about you


you're one big flirt
who doesn't know what he wants
who doesn't have the guts to apologize
who doesn't have the wisdom to see everything in one big picture
who always messes up his work because he spends more time flirting
i can't believe i ever defended you


I know that someday I might just look back at these words
and take it all back
and believe in the goodness I've always known is in there
but for now, it's not doing me any good to believe in you
so I'll just use the mean things you've shown
and amplify that to help me move on


I feel sorry for you
and I hope your soul won't rest from thinking
about all the things that could've been
all the words you should have said
and the right apology that should have been extended
and because you'll always have unfinished business with me
you'll never ever get over me...
Period.

ass.

Day 220: You've been praying for a remedy

Mood: Tearful

Title taken from the Song: Drown by Carolina Liar

Last week has been a week of jealousy.

You don't deserve it, I know.

And I don't deserve to feel this misery

After all, I do not know you anymore

I was so mad at myself but I realized I needed to feel this

So I can finally shut up 

So I can look at myself and realized how ridiculous I've been 

for being so envious and jealous that you're befriending my friend

I hate it when people mention your name

I long for the day when I won't hurt anymore

I wish that you'll experience what I'm feeling

and I hope that you'll crave and miss me like hell

I wish that you'll dream of me non-stop

and You'll wake up frustrated 

Because you'll wonder if you're crazy

I wish you'll be full of regrets

I wish I will have the time 

when the world turns around

and it's my turn to speak

I will tell you everything

but by then, I'll be stronger

and even if I will still love you

I won't want you anymore

I hate you. I truly hate you.