Friday, December 30, 2011

Day 365: And so I came to see him and listen for awhile

Mood: Terribly Depressed
Song: Killing Me Softly


I don't even realize the tears on my face
Until I felt wetness on my cheeks
I can't believe that after a year of being so heartbroken,
that I'm still terribly sad about you

I met up with you a few days ago
to celebrate an event
and although a few days before it you seem happy to share that day with me
on the day itself, i felt you pull away

we met up, anyway.
i had to wait for you.
and i felt foolish for waiting.
like i insinuated myself onto your day
and you had to travel far away just to meet up with me

you suggested that we don't meet up next year
and i wanted to cry right there and then
because although i have plans of not seeing you again
after I totally leave
I wasn't planning to be "let go" on that special day

You asked me if I really plan on continuing with my plans of leaving
and I told you that I do...it's just that timing is not right.
You said you will be relieved because you won't have to worry about me
or the effect I have in your life

Now, I feel really terrible.
I feel really sad.
I hate you.
and yet I feel like I don't know what I should feel anymore.

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