Mood: Heartbroken and Confused
Title Taken from the Song: Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz
I have been okay for quite some time.
I made a lot of friends
the people, my family, the events and
the busy-ness of the daily ins and outs of my life had kept me afloat.
I still think of you.
I still miss you.
and there were times when I would miss you like this: like I can't breathe
and tears would pool in the corner of my eyes
because the emotions would overwhelm me
and the memories would just flood in.
two weeks ago, i gave you a token
it was nothing because i gave a lot of people the same token
the only difference is, i gave you two and i gave them one each
why?
it's just simple: you're my favorite amongst the crowd of people in my life
no matter how many people i try to socialize with
they can not replace the simple, tender friendship we had.
a week ago, you started messaging me.
daily. everyday.
i was surprised at first.
i welcomed the act and i thought that this is just nothing.
it's nice to be friends again.
but then, i started expecting your daily dose of "hi and hello"s
and i started to feel the same ol' frustration creeping in
i started to feel heartbroken over your not responding to something i said
i started to feel sad if by the end of the day i don't get any messages from you.
i realized i had to meditate
i had to stop it
without ruining the flow of how nice this daily messaging has become
because, even though i don't get to see you anymore,
even though i don't get to hang out with you anymore,
you can still get to me
you still have me at hello.
and it's so darn easy for you to break my hard-earned peace of mind.
how can i let you go?
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